My Diary

Everything I love :)
Dom's mixing a drink while Ted paces nervously.

                        TED
           Oh God, I'm fucking nervous. I don't know
           if I'm ready for this, man.

                        DOM
           Just relax. Have you hit the cash machine?

                        TED
                 (pats his back pocket)
           Got cash.

                        DOM
           Car clean? Plenty of gas?

                        TED
           Check.

                        DOM
           Mints?

                        TED
           Copped a tin of Altoids at the car wash.

Dom nods, satisfied. 
                        DOM
           Okay, sounds like you're all set. Just
           clean the pipes and it's a go.

                        TED
           Hm?

                        DOM
           You know, clean the pipes.

                       TED
           Pipes? What are you talking about?

                        DOM
           You jerk off before all big dates, right?
           Tell me you jerk off before your big dates.

Ted just stares at him.

                        DOM (cont'd)
                 (incredulous)
           You don't jerk off before--?! Are you
           crazy?! That's like going out there with a
           loaded gun. No wonder you're nervous!

Ted considers this.

                        DOM (cont'd)
           Think about it: After you've had sex with a
           girl and the two of you are laying in bed,
           are you nervous?

                       TED
           No.

Dom shrugs...Duh.

                        DOM
           Why's that?

                        TED
           I'm usually too tired to be.

Dom makes a game-show BUZZER sound.

                      DOM
           Wrong. It's because you ain't got the baby
           batter in your brain any more. That'll fuck
           with your head, that stuff will.

                       TED
                 (starting to believe)
           Huh.

                        DOM
           The most honest moment in a man's life is
           the five minutes after he's blown a load.
           That's a medical fact. And it's because
           you're no longer trying to get laid. You're
           actually thinking like a girl. They love
           that.

                        TED
           Jesus Christ you're right.

                        DOM
           You bet your ass I'm right. You don't go
           out with a loaded gun, you empty the
           barrels!

                        TED
                 (shakes his head)
           Holy shit, I've been going out with a
           loaded gun!

                        DOM
           People get hurt that way.

lessiarty:

i want to live like a sim

  • spin around and i’m dressed
  • spin around and jump in bed and i’m not only dressed for bed but asleep immediately
  • read the paper and get a job
  • read some books and get promoted a lot
  • give people compliments and make friends instead of getting restraining orders
  • etc.

(Quelle: lessiartyisanoldblog, via esteahaim)

Magnifique Päriiiiiiiiiiiis!!!!!

I can’t wait to visit youuu again and again, and again! <3

(Quelle: shouldn-t, via blairgilmore)

You and I are magnetic. You can feel it. Our pull is as undeniable as ever.

Waowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Je les adore!!!! Chuck & Blair <3

(via blairgilmore)

Serena: So… Good night.

Ahah Loved and still Love it! :)

(Quelle: pbadgley, via esteahaim)